Because when we don’t follow through with them – it registers in our mind as a failure. At least in my mind it does. Which is why I was kicking myself up the arse all night on New Year’s Eve when I realized the  New Year’s Day “Commitment 5k” that I’d registered myself and my children for was a potential failure for the very first day of the year.  I’d been watching the weather – the very cheery weather woman (just what do we call these people??) stated it would be “brrrr! a very cold New Year’s Day!!! Temps will drop to zero!”. She said it with all the enthusiasm of a woman riding a high of chocolate ecstasy  Seriously, wtf is so cheery about freezing temps?? I googled ‘frostbite’ and discovered children should not be out in temps below 13 (that’s  -10c which sounds downright arctic).

That began my dilemma. Forego the 5k and start off the year with a ‘failure’ or be a potentially bad parent and drag my children to the event. After telling my children that I thought we were going to have to cancel (cheers from the oldest), I changed my mind (yes, can’t have a child happy enough to cheer in this house), and we decided frostbite, blizzards, Yeti’s, whatever the world could throw at us – we were going.

7 a.m. the next morning: Oldest is dry heaving and moaning as if in the midst of his final death throes. (Insert deep breath). My greatest obstacle: obstinate children. I grabbed the other one (the more agreeable one) and we threw on enough clothes to survive a REAL apocalypse and headed to the race.

I’m not necessarily one of those over-happy people – you know the ones you secretly think of mowing over in your car while yelling, “take that you over-happy motherfucker!!”. But, I can say my daughter might be the grumpiest. There were really only 2 times during the run that I seriously thought about ditching her and her 1001 complaints.

“My foot hurts!! owowowowowowow!!”

“My legs are itchy!! Mylegsareitchy! Mylegsareitchy… I’m dying!”

“Mom!! (insert seething tone) stop doing Gangnam dance or I’m going to die!” – how can you not do that dance when they play the song?? geez.

“ohmygod I’m dying….” – which was followed by either, “my head is on fire”, “my hands are sweating”, or “I’m dying”.

I will say that there are a few tactics that work on motivating little people. Pointing out a smaller child of the same sex and saying, “Oh wow! look at her go!! I think she’s even younger than you!!”. Umm… not a good way to go. This only resulted in my own child stopping in the middle of the road, arms crossed, glaring at me and yelling, “YOU HATE ME!”. (watch for a future blog titled: when your children are smarter than you).

Oh my god. The drama…. it’s only 3.2 miles FFS.

As we approached the finish line, I looked at her and said, “We have to run. It’s the law. You have to run across the finish line”. And took off running – if she wanted to argue my point she’d have to catch me first. Amazingly, it worked brilliantly and as I reached out to tap her head in a “Yay!!” type of way, as we both cross the finish line, she turns and yells, “YOU HIT ME!!”.

Gah. Happy Fucking New Year.

It was the right thing to do – I’ll accept a challenge over a failure any day and after the race I took her out for breakfast and after she’d refueled on: hot chocolate (sugar), french toast with some amazing buttery cinnamon syrup (sugar), and bacon (food of the gods) – she was my sweet little bunny again. I even got a hug and a big thank you for taking her to the race.

So far – one day down…. 364 to go. Seize this year by the motherfucking balls and make it your bitch. That’s my motto for this year.

It’s been one of those days where I just can’t seem to get motivated to do much of anything.  Even though, I know I will regret it as I might feel like I “wasted” a day.  So far, I’ve watched part of “Journey to the Center of the Earth”… when I say “part of it” I really mean about 5 minutes.  I walked 1/2 way to the park with my daughter before she and I realized we were freezing and turned back.  I did learn the neighbors giant poodle’s name:  Snowflake.  My 6-year-old and I had an in-depth conversation on how “Snowball” would have been a much better name since poodles don’t really resemble flakes.  I have manged to do dishes… and drag my feet all over the house in a kind of grudging avoidance of all other chores.  I managed to take some pictures today… but, haven’t bothered to remove them from my CF card or the pictures I took the other day either (now that I think of it).  I set out to go to the gym, but, was instantly deterred by an argument with myself.  I’ve eaten all kinds of things I wouldn’t normally allow, oh, and I spent a great deal of time…. way too much time, watching the satellite move around the globe.  A friend sent me a link and I seem to be obsessed with learning all the countries and surrounding areas.  Somewhere along the way, probably in 3rd grade when I thought that the new girl, Cherokee, must certainly be an Indian and wondering if Indian’s still lived in teepee’s, I missed all about geography and have for way too long thought that if I drove south through Mexico I would one day reach Africa.  I’m not exactly sure what this says about the American school system, but, the satellite has set me straight on how driving to Africa is going to be a bit more challenging than I originally thought.  And, no, driving to Africa is not going to be my personal challenge.

I’ve considered myself a photographer for quite a while now.  But, recently really started to question the validity of that statement.  Is a photographer still a photographer if that photographer isn’t taking pictures?  And, I’m talking for the sake of creativity.

I’d had a personal rule with my photography that I would only shoot images in natural light.  So, (as I look to this giant light tent that I can’t figure out how to get back into this teeny tiny container it came in) I am wondering where all of this gear came from?  Light tents, flashes (which I did need), backdrops, lights, etc.  I’ve gotten away from what I really loved and enjoyed and tried to do something new.

Now normally doing something new is fantastic!  It’s a great way to grow in your skills and learn something about yourself, maybe meet some new friends… but, I have a personality flaw.  Yes, I know, you were all fooled into thinking I am perfect… but, sadly there is ONE.  Just one that I will confess to.  And, that is… if I can’t figure something out… and I mean very quickly… I will beat myself up about it until I do.  Unfortunately, sometimes due to time constraints or just not wanting to have to kick my own arse again… I’ll leave it.  Promising to come back to it later.

So, that is what I have done.  And, months and months later… my camera sits, mostly, unused.  So… the biggest problem… where am I going to put this light tent?!

My new personal challenge:  Take one GOOD photo a week.  I will even stretch this to say that I can turn a bad photo into a good photo by using some of my presets… lol.  I miss feeling creative… and this challenge is purely personal.  However, if you have something you love to do and are missing it… you could make it your own personal challenge to do it too.

Happy Creating 🙂